In Praise of Older Women
Posted on March 6, 2007
Filed Under illness, war, Aging |
My mother grew up in England during World War II. Most of her war stories seem to be rather fond memories of a happy childhood. But, somewhere in the midst of the bombing and the deprivation, she learned something.
Nowadays, she is showing signs of the early stages of Alzheimer’s. She had a stroke a few years ago, and really hasn’t been the same since. But now the memory loss and the confusion are progressing. She came for a visit yesterday and we spent the whole day having the same brief conversation over and over. She can form new memories but can’t quite locate the context in which they were formed.
At the end of the day, though, we had a very enlightening conversation. “My brain doesn’t work any more.” She doesn’t hide from facts and faces them with a kind of stoicism that seems to be common with her generation of women. My mother-in-law was the same way when she was dying of lung cancer. It was part of her life, but she was damned if it was going to be the most important part of her life.
My mother faced her bones turning to powder (most likely a combination of wartime deprivation and too much child-bearing) the same way. No complaints. No apologies. Can’t repair that hip again? Oh, well, just carry on.
My admiration for her strength of character is difficult to express. I felt the same about my mother-in-law, even though I disliked her intensely otherwise.
When people talk about the “Greatest Generation”, they usually think of the men who went to war. Every now and then, we should also consider the wives, daughters and sisters who stayed behind.
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6 Responses to “In Praise of Older Women”
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Well said. My dad went to college with Tom Brokaw. They were in the same fraternity. But I think you knew that.
My mom’s going through something similar. Her mom turns 89 this year. It’s hard to “watch” her watch her mom slowly drift away. But she seems to be handling it.
Miami Vice is highly flawed and slightly campy at moments but still quite excellent.
Miami Vice the movie (never saw it) or the series (only watched one episode once with a girl I really wanted to nail who was a big fan - hated it)?
One thing you gotta say about Tom Brokaw: that man really knows how to hire a ghostwriter.
The movie, idiot.
Tom’s not the brightest bulb in the chandelier, but you’ve gotta admit he’s filled with the integrity of his generation. Interesting article about a band or something during World War 2 in Vanity Fair couple months ago. Kinda bursts the whole wholesome bubble thingie in a way.
Related.
Nice blog. I should get one.
I think The Fray suffers with the absence of daveto, bacon, Ender, you, RachelCA, chango, andkathleen. Many more. Too many to list. But that seems to be the way it’s always been according to oldschoolers.
Oh, shit. Am I slowly becoming one?
Speaking of which, “Be well.” [hurl]
P.S. Not following the all stars very closely but I love that tall chick. Not one minute of Survivor. Idol has me tenuously hooked.
Other stuff later. I’ll be back.
I can see my mother starting to age, the toll of my father leaving her afer 16 years of marriage has taken hold.
She is still younger than hell at heart and she will be so for her next 40 years. He mother is still kicking ass and taking names at 88, her mother lived to 93. I expect my Mom to do them both proud.
Me…later!
Nice post, schad - you could’ve even gone on a bit more about her, it was interesting. My mother lived through that time too, she was the daughter of Irish immigrants. Not all fun and laughter, growing up in her generation. There was a lot of covering up of problems with a real tendency to keep things under wraps, “in the family” and not talk about personal issues. It’s taken years to undo the damage for her.
Swit: chango hasn’t really left, just taken a leave of absence because of his work. He can’t post at all from there now, but he keeps saying he’ll be back in the spring. I miss andkathleen terribly too. RachelCA, she’s from another fray era, don’t know her all that well. Why did bacon ever leave, exactly? I know he posts occasionally on sportsnut but wasn’t it to write his book? daveto is still pretty active.
I think the log-in problems are so far reaching, god only knows how many have thrown up their hands and just walked away. I noticed butterscotch posted today after not being able to log in for months. MsZilla has had the same glitch. It just amazes me Slate is so cavalier about it all. Now they’re even being cavalier about being cavalier.